I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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