who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
