I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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