it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
