You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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