do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
