meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
