What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
