when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.