Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
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I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
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But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend