i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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