We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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