You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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