Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize