hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
