Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
