Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
