I didn't shave. On purpose
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
