My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
