she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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