Im at strip club and am horny
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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