WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
