do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
