You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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