Sober January is a disaster.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
