What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
