i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
