im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
