Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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