I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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