Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
