Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
