is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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