Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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