i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize