i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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