One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
