This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
