dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I love having hate sex.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
