Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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