I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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