I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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