So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
