the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
