dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
