So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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