I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
