I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
PANTIES FOUND
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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