you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
