I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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