I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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