How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
