To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
