it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
