ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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