I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
