Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
