I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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