Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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