So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
