I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
