I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
