ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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